The Correct way of EATING FRUIT - can even cure Cancer !!!!

Dr Stephen Mak told …..that he treats terminal cancer patients in an "un-orthodox" way, and many patients recovered. He explained, that before he uses solar energy to clear the illnesses of his patients, he believes on natural healing in the body against illnesses. See the article below.
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Dear Shereen, 

Thanks for the email on fruits and juices. It's one of the strategies to heal cancer. Lately, my success rate in curing cancer is about 80%. Cancer patients shouldn't die.. The cure for cancer has already been found, whether you believe it or not.

I am sorry for the hundreds of cancer patients who die under the conventional treatments. Very few live for 5 years under conventional treatments, and most live for only about 2 to 3 years... The conventional treatments don't make any difference, because most cancer patients also live for about 2 to 3 years without any treatment. It is difficult to cure cancer patients who've undergone chemo and radiotherapy, as their cells are toxic and weak. When there is a relapse, the cancer spreads very fast, as the resistance is poor. 

Thanks, and God bless.
Dr Stephen Mak   

  

This is informative! 
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We all think eating fruit means just buying fruit, cutting it up and popping it into our mouths. It's not that easy. It's important to know how and when to eat fruit. 
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What's the correct way to eat fruit? 
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IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUIT AFTER A MEAL! FRUIT SHOULD BE EATEN ON ANEMPTY STOMACH. 
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Eating fruit like that plays a major role in detoxifying your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.. 
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FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD.

Let's say you eat two slices of bread, then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it's prevented from doing so. 
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In the meantime, the whole meal rots and ferments, and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach, and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil. 
Eat your fruit on an empty stomach, or before your meal! You've heard people complain: Every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc. This will not happen if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. Fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas. Hence, you bloat! 

Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes - all of these will NOT happen if you eat fruit on an empty stomach. 
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There's no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruit becomes alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruit, you have the Secret of Beauty, Longevity, Health, Energy, Happiness and normal weight.
When you need to drink fruit juice drink only freshfruit juice, NOT from the cans. Don't drink juice that has been heated. Don't eat cooked fruit; you don't get the nutrients at all. You get  only the taste... Cooking destroys all of the vitamins. 

Eating a whole fruit is etter than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it. You can go on a 3-day fruit-fast to cleanse your body. Eat fruit and drink fruit juice for just 3 days, and you will be surprised when your friends say how radiant you look! 

KIWI: Tiny but mighty, and a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange! 

AN  APPLE a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhances the activity of vitamin C, thereby helping to lower the risk of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke. 

STRAWBERRY: Protective Fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits & protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging free radicals. 
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EATING 2 - 4 ORANGES oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones, and reduce the risk of colon cancer. 

WATERMELON: Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system. Also a key source of lycopene, the cancer-fighting oxidant. Also found in watermelon: Vitamin C & Potassium..

GUAVA & PAPAYA: Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene, good for your eyes.. 

Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer!

Can u believe this? For those who like to drink cold water, this applies to you. It's nice to have a cold drink after a meal, however, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you've just consumed, which

slows digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer.. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal. 

When do we say "QUITS"

Honorable Exit !

When do we call it “Quits” is a million dollar question and unfortunately most people find it difficult to take this call. The famous Indian Opener of Indian Cricket said that “one should quit, when people ask – WHY and not when people ask – WHYNOT”. A simple statement but a very powerful one.

The debate in every household and at every party is when is Sachin going to “retire”.  An icon in Indian Sports all these years but seen failing in the last one year and seen as clinging to the team due to his past history than his current form. Its  just not Sachin, when you look around in all walks of life, you have Michael Schumacher, Roger Federer, Dr Manmohan Singh, LK Advani, Narayan Murthy Amitab Bachan, Sri Devi etc who are clinging to fame and stardom despite having crossed the hill.

Schumacher was the epitome of Formulae 1 in his 1^st innings and when he called it quits it was really a shock as he quit during his prime time. But sadly his return from retirement was a disaster and every sundry driver was overtaking him and it really a bad fall and taken the sheen on Schumacher.

It’s the same story with Roger Federer. He has won every title on the Tennis circuit and is the highest Grand Slam winner but sadly clinging on to the circuit and being beaten by lowly ranked player this year. The invincibility around him is gone and he has become a easy target for anyone to beat.

The less said about Dr Manmohan Singh, the better. He was held in the highest esteem and seen as  the architect of modern Indian economics and a man of impeccable integrity in his first innings as Finance Minister under Narasimha Rao, but sadly in his second innings as a Politician he has become the butt of ridicule. Not only does he seem to have failed as a Politician (surrounded by corrupt Politicians) but also as a Economist, with the Indian Economy having hit the lowest nadir in it its economic history in the last 3 decades.  He fails to understand that a watchman’s primary duty is to safeguard the safety of the property and the people that he has been assigned to and cannot absolve himself of his responsibility when allround theft is happening in front of his own eyes. The joke was when he was nursing his ambition to have another go as Prime Minister a third time around. He is 86 and wants to continue to run the Government at 92. Running a country is no joke (sure he must have realised by now) and requires able bodied people and sure Dr Manmohan Singh is not able bodied any more – physically or mentally.

The same with LK Advani in his later eighties wants to have a shot at the Prime Ministers post again and playing spoil sport in allowing Modi have a shy at it. What a poor climbdown from a statesman.

Well if we were to only blame politicians, Narayan Murthy has been a real disappointment. When he said that the CEO’s role must be a limited tenure and must have a definitive retirement age, every one in the industry welcomed his idea and he set a great example. But his sudden return to Corporate life 5 years after he retired has raised eyebrows in all quarters. Adding salt to his injury, a person who vociferously lobbied against promoting dynasty rule whether in politics or in business, got his son into Infosys as his Executive Assistant and earned the ire of many inside and outside of Infosys. What a climbdown from the high pedestal of morality.

And so it is the same case with Amitabh Bachan or Sri Devi. They still want to be in the limelight competing with younger heroines and heroes.

There are very few who got it right like Sunil Gavaskar, GR Vishwanath, Steffi Graff, Pete Sampras etc, who quit when they were still in their prime and left with their head still high.

Its often said that its lonely at the top and the glaze of stardom is their only company. May be its true. These stars find it very difficult to go out of limelight for fear of being nudged out of attention.  What they fail to see is that the reputation that they had assiduously built over the years and the invincibility that they had gathered around them is slowly disintegrating and they might set into sunset as a failed HERO.

It not just for these stars. Even in normal life we find it difficult to time our Exit. How long do Parents continue to call shots in a family and force decisions on their children and control the family. How long do Senior Executives in Corporate world cling on to their post even when business is declining and blocking the growth of talented youngsters. How long does a spiritual Guru / Godman hang on to his pedestal. Its time that seniors pave the way for youngsters and gracefully pass on the mantle rather than be forced or eased their way out. 

Well its easier said than done and looks like a strong temptation that many stars are finding it difficult to resist…………Even a lesser known mortal like me is struggling in this regard !!!!!!

My interview has been featured in the eZet, a e-newsletter published by the Zetetica, HR Club, of Bharathidasan Institute of Management (BIM), Trichy. It can be accessed at http://www.bim.edu/index/doc/ezet-newsletter.pdf

Schneider India HR Services Team Wins ‘Shared Services Organization Network Award’

 “Customer First” philosophy of HR Services India team at Schneider Electric, has won them the coveted ‘2013 Shared Services Organization Network Award’.

The glittering awards ceremony was a part of the 16th Annual Asian Shared Services Outsourcing Week (SSON) meet in Singapore held from 2-5 September, 2013. On behalf of the India team Bryan Chong, Senior Director, Global HR Services received the plaque in presence of 400 attendees from over 16 countries.

Shared Services Outsourcing Network (SSON)

The awards honour, recognize and promote both captive and outsourced shared services that demonstrate winning practices. Schneider Electric was recognized by this international forum for ‘Customer Service Excellence’ category.  The awards showcased our Voice of Internal Customer programme practised by the HR Services team in India which captures the thoughts of employees at every stage of the Employee Life Cycle(See the Total Employee Experience model). An eminent panel of international judges recognized the programme as one of the Best Practices and awarded Schneider Electric India, HR Services second in the category. Wipro was adjudged the winner in this category.

The awards form the industry's benchmark in terms of best practice and business excellence and the entries were judged by a panel of leading industry experts including;

• Goh Kim Lee, Senior Director SBS Finance Asia Pacific, Philips Electronics 
• GV Prasad, CEO, AXA Business Services
• Jocelyn Nguyen, General Manager Shared Services, International SOS
• Irina Chernousenko, Director Shared Services Transformation, Coca-Cola Far East 
• Alice Ling Wan Wan, Head of HR Shared Service Centre, Maybank

 An elated Bryan shared his thoughts from the awards night, “I am delighted and honoured to receive this award on behalf of the HR Services team in India. Our presence and winning this coveted award has been an excellent employer branding opportunity for Schneider Electric in Singapore. The team in India have every reason to be proud as this year the number of contenders for this award has been four times more as compared to last year.”

“You have made all of us proud”, said Ernesto Prado, VP HR Performance & Customer Service, as he congratulated the team.  

Applauding the efforts, Ramesh Ranjan, Vice President – HR Services said, “This is an award to the TEAM and would not have been possible without the efforts of all team members and support from the larger HR community. I believe that this recognition and award will spur us to raise the bar of Service levels to our stakeholders to greater heights.”

More details of this program can be seen @  http://www.ssweekasia.com/Default.aspx

‘There is much more beyond IT and it is rewarding’

http://content.timesjobs.com/?p=3586

A close encounter with “Beauty & Brains”

Many a men crave to have a woman in their life who has “Beauty & Brains” and more still crave someone who meets both these criteria. I am no different either. I have met a few girls with both these criteria’s and also worked with a few of them. But today was the best of all of them because she not only embodied “Beauty & Brains” but also was a renowned celebrity and a prospective Tollywood Actress.

I had been to Hyderabad to attend the 16th National HRD Network Annual Conference and also to participate in the Best of Breed HR Practices competition being conducted by NHRDN (incidentally we-Schneider Electric won the first prize in the competition). The conference was spread over 3 days and many a eminent speakers largely from the HR fraternity spoke and shared their thoughts and experience mostly revolving around the theme of “Energizing for Excellence”. For most part it was not so much energizing as most of what was shared was old wine in old bottle. Personally I didn’t find much of new ideas or Next Practices.

However we were really energized by 2 speakers who surprisingly were not from the HR fraternity. One of them was our former President Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam and the other was the women with “Beauty & Brains” and a renowned celebrity.

Many of us were wondering what would Ms. Vasuki Sunkavalli, Miss Universe 2011 pagent from India, would speak on and what relevance it was in bringing her to speak to an august gathering of leading HR professionals in the country. She proved us wrong.

She was asked to speak on Corporate Social Responsibility and Socially engaging Leaders.

She first feigned ignorance on the subject but came with a prepared speech and she held the audience with bated breathe for the next one hour or so. To my mind her was the best part of the 3 day conference and she really “energized” all of us with her “Beauty & Brains”.

For the beauty part she was a tall girl (wont be surprised if she is near 5’10), surprisingly not the fairest celebrity (wheatish complexion) and she made no effort to artificially hide it, slim with a perfect figure (otherwise she couldn’t have been a Miss India Universe representative) exuding with confidence, grace and humility (unlike many others who crave for attention). There was an air of unambiguousness about her and she was extremely approachable reaching out to all who wanted their share of her attention – posing for photographs or autograph or shaking hands.

In 2002, Vasuki enrolled at the Symbiosis International University in Pune, India for her Bachelors in Law degree. While in India, Vasuki did a series of internships at local law firms and at India's National Human Rights Committee. In 2007, she moved to New Delhi to pursue a Diploma in Intellectual Property Rights from Global Institute of Intellectual Property. It was during this time that Vasuki was approached by members of the Indian fashion industry and she also started her modeling career. In 2009, Vasuki enrolled at New York University School of Law as a recipient of the prestigious Dean's Scholarship to study International Law and Human Rights and graduated with an LLM degree. Upon graduating from NYU, she interned at the Human Rights Watch in NYC and went on to work as the Third Committee's Research Assistant at the United Nations’ Permanent Mission of India.

A lawyer by profession. Specialises in International Arbitration. Which means she helps countries to arbitrate and settle disputes. Wow……

Here intellect part was greatly exposed when she started speaking and later on handled with aplomb the many questions that were fielded to her.

She said that we should not feel guilty about making profits- reminds of me what my uncle, late Dr.CK Prahalad told me. You need profit to share. Without money how will you share – Corporate Social Responsibility. However she said that how you make money is as much as important on how much of money you make. You needn’t feel guilty of how much money you make but you could feel guilty of how you made those money.

So she exhorted Corporates to work on the nuts and bolts and work towards maximizing profits. However she said that there is a Joy of Giving and hence corporate, the wealthy should also share a part of their gains with the have-nots. She said the giving / sharing should be voluntary and driven from within and no efforts should be made to make it mandatory or compulsory. She was referring to the proposal from P Chidambaram ,Finance Minister for leving a CSR Tax of 2% to make it compulsory for Corporates to earmark some part of their profits towards Corporate Social Responsibility program. She said the moment it becomes compulsory, people will find a way to beat the policy and reporting and will become a sham.

She said that instead we should make it fashionable for the wealthy to raise funds and take part in fund raising programs for charity, which mostly happens in the western world. She said we should create situations where the wealthy would be shamed and morally embarrassed to partake their wealth.

She quoted late Prime Minister late Rajiv Gandhi, who once said that out of every 1 Rupee that is spent by the Government, only 15 paise reaches the people or the reason its intended for. The remaining 85 paise is either siphoned off or frittered away due to in-efficiency (no wonder all these scams). She said that last year the Government of India has spent 2 Billion USD on Rural Development programs and around 4 Billion USD on Urban Development programs. As per Rajiv Gandhi’s formula, nearly 5 billion dollars out of 6 Billion dollars has been siphoned off or frittered away due to inefficiencies in the system. If that be the case, she argued the Government should rather plug the leakage rather than taxing further the people. She argued that it’s the job / responsibility of the Government to take care of the needs (housing, education, healthcare, infrastructure) of its people and not the responsibility of the Corporates. If all the taxes were well spent and in its entirety (without any leakages), we would have plenty of money to address the needs of the downtrodden and the have-nots.

She said that charity must be driven by an inner need and drive and not thro compulsion or regulation. Giving back to the society need not necessarily be in the form of cash, it could also be in the form of service. When she was a student she used to offer her services to the Gates foundation, the Human Rights watch society etc. So she urged that if cant afford to pay, then offer your service – voluntary service for a social cause. She said that there are many fortunate women in India who don’t have to go to work because of rich husbands and exhorted them to offer some bit of their time for some social work / social cause instead of sitting before the idiot box – TV.

When asked about Need vs Greed, she said that it’s a Human tendency to be greedy and there fore people hoard. But she said may be people hoard because of insecurity or the need to live the same high standard of lifestyle till their death and in many cases ensuring that their children, 2nd and 3rd generation also should maintain the same standard of living. Hence they hoard for generations to come. She said that may be the Government could consider levying an Inheritance Tax to prevent people from hoarding.

When asked what she would like to be remembered – as a lawyer or a Miss Universe / Model. She said “why not both”. She said that she will continue to pursue her profession as an International Arbitrator and also walk the ramp as a Model and endorsing brands. She said that long after we would want her family and children to remember that she was a Miss Universe India and will have a story to tell. She concluded by saying that every one of us must live a multi-faceted life and should have stories to tell to family, friends and the society. So she urged people to work towards building stories to be shared.

All in all it was a very fascinating session and an encounter with a celebrity with Beauty & Brain. Will cherish this special encounter and not sure if I will be able to meet another one at close encounter.

May be there is one in the making in my home and only time will tell……

Winning the Hearts & Minds of employees— An Internal Communication Strategy.

I am pleased to share with you that I have contributed a paper to the NHRD Network, Quarterly Journal and the same has been published in the latest issue. The theme of the present journal revolves around the nature and nuance of employee communication and is titled: “Dots and connections: winning hearts and minds through internal communication”. I have written on the subject Winning the Hearts & Minds of employees— An Internal Communication Strategy.

You can access this @ http://www.nationalhrd.org/quarterly-journal.php?year=2012. 

Hope you find it interesting to read and would value your feedback.

Game of Discounts – Do you know that you are being taken for a ride ?

I overheard a conversation over lunch in my office canteen, where in one person said that when he went to purchase Crackers for Diwali, they were offering 90% discount. He jokingly said “why not offer the remaining 10%” also. The box mentioned MRP Rs.5400/- 90% OFF – Rs.500/- Another one MRP Rs.9000/- 80% discount – Rs.1800/-

I remember when I took a stroll at the Brigade Orion Mall, the Pheonix Mall with my foreign relatives and friends, they too were shocked and pleasantly surprised. Every shop (belive me every one of them) were offering 50%  discounts or Buy 1 take 1 free.

Mind you, they are were all top brands and Global Brands too, not cheap local stuffs… the likes of Levis, Wrangler, Allain Solley, Lee Cooper, Lee, Color Plus, Arvind Brands, Reid & Taylor, Nike, Puma, Addidas, Bata, Pantaloon, Woodlands etc.

Till some time ago, it was only the Indian local vendors who were resorting to this gimmick to attract customers. But this time even the Global brands have adopted this tactic to attract reluctant customers.

So are these vendors really passing off these discounts to the customers. You must be kidding. They are just taking you for a ride and a looooooooooooong ride.

We went in to check the prices. One shirt price tag said – MRP Rs.2600/- 50% off – Rs.1300. Another Jeans price tag said – MRP Rs.3800/-  50% off – Rs.1900. One Shoe’s price tag read – MRP Rs.5400/- 50% off – Rs.2700/- and the list goes on.

These are for all occasions the real price. They have just upped the price and then discounted them to their original value. This was actually validated to me by an ex HR Manager of Big Bazaar. Most of them would never buy them at their MRP.

It was funny to see some shops display “Original discounts”, thus giving away the trick of the trade.

I had recently been to Nasik with me colleague to visit our factory. Our HR friends told us that on our return back to Mumbai we could visit the American Tourister factory enroute and that they have a factory retail outlet over there. We were all enthused as we felt that we could pick up some good Luggages at a cheap price. When we did reach the place it was pouring and it took some effort to get inside the factory and the store. 

To our disdain, we were in for shock. The same trick. They had jacked up the price to exhorbitant levels – MRP – 9000/- 50% Off – Rs.4500/-MRP Rs.11000/- 50% discount – Rs5500/- and so on. They were selling at the same price the Retail stores were selling in the cities.

And recently I was tempted to buy a LED 55 inch TV and again went on a exploration drive to check out the prices. One LG 55” LED Smart TV – MRP Rs.201,000/- Ezone offered at Rs.170,000/- Croma offered at Rs.165,000/-, Girias was offering at Rs.155,000/- , LG Shoppe at Rs.149,000/- and another wholesale dealer at Rs.145,000/- I am sure that if I pulled out my Credit Card or dangled a wad of notes the prices would have dropped further.

The same with furniture's. Look at the number of advertisements offering furniture's at 70% discounts.

In the past these discounts used to be restricted to festive seasons or sometimes end of season. But to my surprise I find most of them are offering year round discount sale.

In all theses cases whether they are crackers, clothes, shoes, TV, Furniture etc, the manufacturer is fooling the gullible customers or taking them for a ride or they are stacking up huge margins (anyway not sure most customers wouldn’t ever buy at MRP rates).

One shop keeper confessed to me, “what to do sir, if I don’t display discounts no one will come into my shop. So I have to play the game of the trade”. Another one told me “ I use this as a tactic to draw the customers into my territory (shop)”. Its quite true. Many a time especially in the Global Brands you will find that after you enter the shop the number of items on sale with discounts will hardly be a few when compared to the others.

Its time the gullible Indian customers realized that nothing ever comes free. All these discounts are actually been funded by the gullible customers in one way or the other. Its time that we come out of the rut and the trap and allow market to restore its sense of balance. Its time also that we had some regulatory body or the Consumer Court must take suo moto action and put an end to this Game of Discounts.

It’s a pity that many a genuine vendors are getting lost in this myriad of fakesters and compelled to adopt unethical practices to stay in the game. And customers on their part will not shop without any discounts.

When will this farce end…. Or will it not end at all… only time will tell. Afterall – you reap only what you sow !

All about the b.....tter half ...........

I am dying

Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi, what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!



Angry wife to her husband

An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:

"Where d Hell Are You ...?"

Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time

n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "O:)

Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!

Husband: I ‘m in the Pub Just Next To That Shop

A Special Package for Business Men.

An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men. Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free. After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To

All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.

All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"

Husband was seriously ill

Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don’t discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don’t demand

new clothes & gold jewels,

Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.

On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?

Wife:- .No chance for u to survive

An intelligent wife

''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much

That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"



New SIM to surprise her husband

Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room. She Goes To The

Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: "Hello Darling"

The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: "Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..



Wife treats husband

A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..

At The Club: Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?

Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?

Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football with Him

Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?

Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything, He's On the Darts Team in My Local

Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim

Do You Crave Special Again?

The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..

Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy, You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."

Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday



Cool message by a wife

Cool Msg by a woman: Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"



Sweet demand by kid

A Sweet demand by a kid.

A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked - what happen son?

Kid said-I can’t adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.



Lion bounced on wife

In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.

WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!

SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..



Throwing knives on wife's picture

Husband was throwing knives on wife’s picture. All were missing the target!

Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"

His honest reply, "MISSING U"

I will think about it

When a married man says "I'll think about it",

What he really means that, He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..



Habbit of talking in sleep

A Lady to Doctor:

My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what shud i give him to cure?

Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake





Part & Art of living

Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...

But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.



Head & Neck of the family

It is said that Husband is the head of the family, but remember that wife is the Neck of the family & the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she

wants.



Wife: Do you want dinner?

Wife: Do you want dinner?

Husband: Sure, what are my choices?

Wife: Yes and no.



What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?

What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?

A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.

To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.

Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"



I look at your picture and the problem disappears

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?



Wife: honey what r u looking 4?

Wife: honey, what r u looking 4?

Husband: nothing

Wife: why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour?

Husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date

Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means...

Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

WIFE says: No darling, it means:

With Idiot For Ever



Wife wish 2 be a newspaper

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I would be in ur hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that u were a newspaper so I could have a new one every day.



Can I make a call to my wife?

A man in Hell asked Devil:

Can I make a call to my Wife?

After making call he asked how much to pay.

Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.







WIFE IS DANGEROUS

LOVE IS LIFE

LIFE IS WIFE

WIFE IS KNIFE and

KNIFE IS DANGEROUS



What if you don't see me for 2 days?

A man came home late at night after a party.

His wife yelled:

"how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"

The man couldn’t believe his luck: 'that would be great'!

Monday passed and he didn’t see her......

Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....

On Thursday his swelling became better

And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.

Why women starts with W

You know why women starts with 'W'...

because all questions start with "W".. !

Who ?

Why ?

What ?

When ?

Which ?

Whom ?

Where ?

&

Finally Wife..!!!



NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt, Tsunamis to devastate, Hurricanes to sway around & no one teaches How to choose a Wife,

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

Difference between Friend & Wife

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend "U r my Best Friend"

But Do u have courage to tell to ur Wife "U r my Best Wife?"

Message of the year

Message of the year:-

Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!

Why? Very simple...

A woman does not have a wife..!!!

Husband to a newly wed wife

Husband to a newly wed wife: I could go to the end of the world for you.

Wife: Thanks, but promise me you will stay there for the rest of your life.

Your husband needs rest

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you.!!