Sunday, July 5, 2009

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?

Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?

In what other language do thay call the third hand on the clock the second hand?

Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?

Why - in our crazy language - can your nose run and your feet smell?

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?

A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.But fingers don't fing and grocers don't groce.If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?

If the teacher taught, why isn't it also true that the preacher praught?

If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?

English is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn a light off and you can turn a light out, but you can't turn a light in;

In which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.

In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car can slow up and slow down, in which you can fill in a form by filling out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English is a crazy language.

What is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible?;

and why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?

Definition of a Kiss


Prof .of Economics
Kiss is that thing for which the demand is aways higher than the supply.
Prof. Of Accountancy
Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Prof. Of Algebra
Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.
Prof. Of Geometry
Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.
Prof. Of Physics
Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
Prof. Of Chemistry
Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.
Prof. Of Zoology
Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria.
Prof. Of Physiology
Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularisoris muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. Of Dentistry
Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. Of Philosophy
Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. Of English
Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction, it is more common than proper, it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.
Prof. Of Architecture
Kiss is a process which builds a solid bond between the two dynamic objects
Prof. Of Comp.Science
What is a kiss? It seems to be an undefined variable

Gayatri Mahamantra

Here is "pratipadartha" correct meaning of Gayatri Mahamantra as per Madwa Tradition.

Om bhuh= full of auspicious qualitites
bhuvah= the creator
svah = the Lord of Lakshmi and full of bliss
tat = the well known and universally present
savitr = the creator, sustainer and destroyer
varenyam = the one fit for praise, full of bliss and full of knowledge
bargah = seated in Suryamandala, all round protector, the lifter from the cycle of births and deaths and the giver of moksha
devasya = full of blissful qualities
dimahi = we mediate
dhiyo yo na pracodayat = the one who guides or propels our intellect
dhiya = intellect
nah = of us
praccodayat = let be the preraka or the guide

Reference : Sadachara Sangraha Published by Sri Krishna Raghavendra Trust of T Nagar Chennai.

Stress Busters


Cultivate gratitude.
Carve out an hour a day for solitude.
Begin and end the day with prayer, meditation and reflection.
Keep it simple. Don't over-schedule.
Strive for realistic deadlines.
Never make a promise you can't keep.
Allow an extra half hour for everything you do.
Create quiet surroundings at home and at work.
Go to bed at nine o'clock twice a week.
Always carry something interesting to read.

Breathe.. deeply and often.
Move.. walk, dance, run, find a sport you enjoy.
Drink pure spring water. Lots of it.
Eat only when hungry.
Be instead of Do.

Set aside one day a week for rest and renewal.
Laugh more often.
Luxuriate your senses.
Always opt for comfort.
If you don't love it, live without it.

Let Mother Nature nurture.
Don't answer the telephone during dinner.
Stop trying to please everybody.
Start pleasing yourself.
Stay away from negative people.

Don't squander precious resources: time, creative energy, emotion.
Nurture friendships.
Don't be afraid of your passion.
Approach problems as challenges.
Honor your aspirations.

Set achievable goals.
Surrender expectations.
Savor beauty.
Create boundaries.
For every "yes", let there be a "no".

Don't worry, be happy.
Remember, happiness is a living emotion.
Exchange security for serenity.
Care for your soul.
Cherish your dreams.

Express love every day.
Search for your authentic self.



~Author Unknown~

Worlds Easiest Quiz....So you thought ? Test Your knowledge

Passing requires 4 correct answers
1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Remember, you only need 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below.

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course) What do you mean, you failed?
huh???????????? ???????? So we thought we were intelligent.....
Whats your score??????? ???????